I wish I hadn't let my subscription to Maxim run out. Again.

The title of a recent article is "How to Score in Church." Here's a sample:

Scope out the finest churchgoer, then snag the pew in front of her. You won’t appear too eager, yet you can make eye contact easily—and shake her hand if there’s a “sharing of the peace.” Avoid making moves mid-service. “You’re in a place of bloody worship; you have to be respectful,” notes Tracey Cox, author of Superdate. Instead, listen to the sermon, which’ll give you plenty to talk aboutlater.

As an aside, "sermon" is too off-putting, but "message" tests well with focus groups, Dr. Cox. Keep that in mind. Also, "bloody worship"?? Hmm, I'm not Catholic, so I'll leave the stigmata questions to them.

Anyway, I should be offended. I'll get on that later. Still, I guess this is a nice marketing tactic for "progressive" churches (as the article calls them. And, as another aside, churches that are informal and have bands up front are about as progressive as a car with a CD player --- it's not meant as a novelty anymore, even if its marketed as such), come for the girls, stay for the message. Because, you know, pretending interested in something you're not is so attractive to the devout....

(via BHT)

For some, if you don't remember the day you started your journey, then you may not have started at all.

The last two summers, I went out --almost on a whim-- on a vacation where I hadn't really decided where to go until a few days before. I never do remember exactly when I decided my destination, but I do remember going. Where I was headed was important, but it wasn't the only point of the trip.

I truly believe that many people, when they arrive at whatever destination they've been planning, will wonder what the hurry was. Anticipation is a mere hindrance, the cure is instant gratification. It's normal for a 7-year-old to constantly complain about being bored on a long trip, it's another for a 25 year old to continually wish to be at the end of his journey. The destination will be there when you arrive, becoming only more real while you continue.

Like most vacations, I plan on coming home sometime. However I travel, it turns out to be a round trip.

I guess Gargamel finally had enough.

The people of Belgium have been left reeling by a public service commercial featuring the Smurfs, in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes.

When an article starts out like this, it can only get more interesting. Apparently it was sanctioned by the creator's family - who apparently like kicking the smurf of out his creation.

Here is the full article, with details and descriptions. If we're going this route, can I nominate the Tellebubbies to be carpet bombed next time? Elmo? If we're going to decimate children's shows, we may as well pick something recent.

Belgium once put out a Pinocchio movie where the title character was killed by burning to death. Really. I think it runs in the family.

New Free mp3-of-the-undetermined-time-period on the right.

The Hold Steady are from Minnesota, full of references to area attractions from Osseo to Stillwater. It's a nice mix of 70s rock, Springsteen, punk, and a sometimes atonal vocalist who growls and shouts more than he sings.

Download away!

Oh, and Don't forget the previous MP3s from Hammock.

Not watching Oprah is a hobby of mine.

I love finding new ways to not watch Oprah. So far, finding a job working overnight so I must sleep through the day seems to be my most inventive. There's also allowing my power to go out during storms two weeks ago. Unfortunately, two of those days were the weekend, so I'll have to find a more creative way next time.

Why not watch Oprah? The health benefits.

Angelique Fiorillo says the boulder that crashed through one wall of her second-story apartment and out another might have struck her if she'd been in her usual spot watching "Oprah."

Here's hoping more people take up this hobby. It could change, or even save, a life.