I wish I hadn't let my subscription to Maxim run out. Again.

The title of a recent article is "How to Score in Church." Here's a sample:

Scope out the finest churchgoer, then snag the pew in front of her. You won’t appear too eager, yet you can make eye contact easily—and shake her hand if there’s a “sharing of the peace.” Avoid making moves mid-service. “You’re in a place of bloody worship; you have to be respectful,” notes Tracey Cox, author of Superdate. Instead, listen to the sermon, which’ll give you plenty to talk aboutlater.

As an aside, "sermon" is too off-putting, but "message" tests well with focus groups, Dr. Cox. Keep that in mind. Also, "bloody worship"?? Hmm, I'm not Catholic, so I'll leave the stigmata questions to them.

Anyway, I should be offended. I'll get on that later. Still, I guess this is a nice marketing tactic for "progressive" churches (as the article calls them. And, as another aside, churches that are informal and have bands up front are about as progressive as a car with a CD player --- it's not meant as a novelty anymore, even if its marketed as such), come for the girls, stay for the message. Because, you know, pretending interested in something you're not is so attractive to the devout....

(via BHT)