From the Right Reverend Doctor Edward Daniel Taylor's Miracle Faith Prickly Heat Telethon of Love:

Dr. Edward Daniel Taylor: Okay friends, let’s take a break and go to our "Fruit o’ Ministry" tote board and check our total.

The way the tote board works is this: we count UP the amount of souls that have been saved by this ministry, and then subtract the number of souls that have been permanently hardened towards the Gospel by this ministry which produces the grand "Fruit o’ Ministry" total.

Souls saved: --- 11! (sound of an ascending tone)

Hearts irrevocably hardened: --- 153 million?!! (sound of a long descending tone and dissonant organ chord)

People! We got negative fruit here.

Why does this sketch mentioning fruits remind me of the news of the day?

Oh, just the usual.....