Tuesday, October 31, 2006

We're in the middle of an election year, and around this time I'm always thankful for the invention of the mute button. I remember hearing about anatomy of a political campaign:

Step 1: I am [insert name], and I am running for [insert office].
Step 2: I want to serve in [insert office] because I [love my state/love my country/can work for the people/my family is in the business/have few other qualities that merit my employment]
Step 3: I am different from [insert opponent's name] because I [insert advantage over opponent]
Step 4: My opponent says that I am [going to raise taxes/soft on the war/inexperienced/on drugs], but [she/he] is [incorrect/lying/misquoting me/also on drugs].
Step 5: You can not trust my opponent for office because [she/he] is [funded by extremist groups/drunk most of the time/agrees with the President/disagrees with the President/sits outside your child's school with a telescope].
Step 6: [Opponent's name] is [The Antichrist/Hitler/Going to ruin your life/The worst thing to happen to this state/Ugly].
Step 7: My opponent ran a good campaign and I want to congratulate [him/her] on [winning the election/serving the community/being cool about that house egging last night].

As an aside, I think it is brilliant for Minnesota Public Radio to put their pledge-drive towards the end of a political campaign. As people dive for the dial when the local ads kick in elsewhere, I'm guessing they see an upswing in giving.


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